Lost In The Cracks

The Art of Racing in the Rain • Garth Stein

2012-01-05T22:31:00.002-06:00

The Art of Racing inthe Rain by Garth Stein is the first of two books that I very recentlyfinished, but before the 50 in 2012 project began. I finished the book recent enough and I likedit enough that I wanted to include a write-up, but it will not count as one ofthe 50.

The Art of Racing inthe Rain caught my eye initially through a newsletter or recommendation onPaperbackSwap.com. The story is told byEnzo, the faithful and loving, but very old, dog of a semi-professional racecar driver. Like I said Enzo is old andis very close to dying, but this is okay to him as he fully believes that adog’s next step in the living cycle is to come back as a man, and Enzodesperately longs for thumbs. He isconvinced of this return to the world as a human from documentaries that he watches through the day whenhis master is at work.

So Enzo narrates the story of his master’s life, Denny, thathe has had the privilege to experience. It is a gut-wrenching story of Denny’s wife getting sick and ultimatelydying, of Denny having his only daughter stripped from him by his (possiblywell-meaning, but very manipulative) parents-in-law. The fight to recapture and rebuild what hecan of his family, all while juggling work and his other love, racing. Intermixed though the story are tales ofracing, Denny and Enzo’s many hours spent watch racing videos (both of Dennyand of professional races), Denny’s wisdom in racing situations and how thatsame wisdom can translate into real-life situations so easily and appropriately.

This book really hooked me in with so many connections. The love of dogs, as a father of kids aboutthe same age as Zoë, Denny’s daughter, and the racing wisdom really spoke to aninner me. I have raced cars, and while aback condition has kept me from the track for several years now, I still holdon to the possibility that I can climb back into my Formula Ford soon. Garth Stein’s ability to take these track sayings,sayings that I used to hear or even use, and cast them over life itself wasremarkable. I feel that I learned aboutmyself, how my mind operates, through the experiences, example, and thoughts ofDenny. For an author, that I ampresuming does not have racing experience, to weave that world into the book ina way that I learn about myself…gifted writing.

Sayings like “No race has even been won in the first corner– but plenty of races have been lost there.” Showing how being aggressive, launching hard (even showing off) early, orbeing so wrapped up in the excitement of the start of the event, can yielddisastrous results, especially in an endurance race. Or “Your car goes where your eyes go.” A truism that is translated to life severaltimes by both Enzo and Denny as, “That which we manifest is before us.” Even talking about the selfishness of a racerand then seeing those same examples in me. These are connections that the non-racer may not be as impacted by, andas such, may not have the same love and respect of this story as I have. I wouldbe interested in other’s thoughts as they read these in the book and if you experiencesimilar understanding or impact.

The other reason that I like this book so much was how GarthStein was able to take a situation like a dog dying (served up to us on page2), and then get the reader so wrapped up in the story that when Enzo doesactually die, it feels shocking! It is atear-jerker that you forget about as you are reading and when it does finallyhappen, the author is still able to draw out that much emotion from the reader.

When I was reading this book, I immediately wanted to giveit to my father. He had done some racingof various kinds in the past (and with me), and I thought that he would connectin a similar way as I did. He is also aserious dog-lover, and I thought that the connection to Enzo would bestrong. As I was finishing the bookthough, one of his dogs died, and suddenly. I debated actually giving it to him, torn between the thought of pouringorange juice on an open wound or could the book offering some healing andhappiness to the situation, as you really end up loving Enzo and I felt that hewas going to get what he believed was coming to him.

In the end, I did give him the book, but I am not sure if hehas read it (or will). I can only hopethat it offers healing.

Changing Directions

2012-01-04T22:11:00.001-06:00

I have decided this year to develop an objectives document, similar to the versions begrudgingly written by employees at the beginning of each year, to offer framework and vision to what I want to accomplish (and even to define goals) in 2012. Noted financial talk show host, Dave Ramsey, frequently talks about the importance of reading and how it can change your life. He is often heard quoting Charlie Jones, "You are the same today as you'll be in five years except for two things: the books you read and the people you meet." Taking this to heart, in many of the subsections of my Personal Objective document, I have detailed various books that I want to read to support the section goal. I have accumulated many books through the trading sites that I use (paperbackswap.com and, to some extent, swap.com) over the past couple years, but they seem to stack up in a tower of things that I romanticize about doing. To add motivation towards tackling this reading tower and in support of the many books that have appeared in my Personal Objectives document, I have decided to document which books I have read during 2012. The overall goal of this blog will be to read 50 books in 2012.

There, it is committed to in black-and-white. I am not a particularly fast reader; my make-up tends more towards comprehension than speed. So the additional goals of this project will be to document particular things in the books that strike me as profound. Learning opportunities. As I reach the end of each book I will write up some sort of book review (I may even post the review on Amazon, just depends on how they shape up). Initial plans would be to describe the story or message, personal thoughts on the book, and (especially important for me going forward) to highlight those striking or important concepts in the book. What things did I really take away from the book and want to remember if I am looking back. The sideline benefit of this project is that it will get me writing again. Writing frequently helps me to commit to memory what I have read. Many times the analysis that I go through during the writing process yields some added nuggets of wisdom that do not normally bubble to surface.

Now, to be totally up front and honest, there will be a mix of fiction and non-fiction books. I am relatively confident that Dave Ramsey’s message is more geared towards the non-fiction side of the coin, but I need to have some fun here and there. There are insights and lessons within fiction as well, but I am fully cognizant that many of these will simply be ‘Mind Candy’. I just have such a sweet tooth that needs to be satisfied from time to time.

I will start of with a couple books that I finished in Dec 2011 as practice and to set a tone and framework. These couple of books will not count towards the 50 book goal, but they did contain some good insights that I want to document, remember, and share. I have about 15-20 books selected for the queue, so if there are additional titles that you think would be worthy of a read, drop a line and share the title and quick synopsis…sell me on why I should read it. I will work on developing the list as an article so you can see where I am headed also (maybe you even want to join me in the project). Fair warning, it will be all over the map, as there are many things that interest me.

I am really curious on what will happen by putting Charlie Jones’ quote to the test. Best case, I learn a significant amount of knowledge and wisdom, even learning to think (there are several titles in queue on critical thinking and how to be better at it), perhaps change my life as suggested by Mr. Jones and Mr. Ramsey. Worst case, I read a bunch of books. Not really much of a downside, with some real potential on the upside.

Electric Company Thievery So Appalling That It Inspired Me To Write Again

2010-09-28T08:38:00.007-05:00

We spent last Saturday with some friends at their house, the kiddos sports games rained out, the adults couched out watching TV shows and the kids playing. Good times and a well deserved recharge. As we were talking, somehow the conversation turned to costs and saving money and, specifically, electric rates. I asked who their provider was, and when told TXU my immediate reply was, “You are paying too much!” They were a little skeptical at the boldness of the claim, especially with my not know what plan or rate they were subscribed to. Being in rare form, I asked to see their electric bill. At first I was shocked, but the more I reflect on it, the angrier I get. I’ll get to the details below, but in 15 minutes time, I was able to show them how to save $100 each and every month (if their electricity use stays constant). What started to really make me mad was this kind of money can really affect a family’s budget! An extra $100 a month can mean the difference between gymnastics lessons or not, or saving for retirement or college, or so many other things that two overwhelmed parents are struggling to provide…what would you do with an extra $100? All because the company that they choose to provide electricity can get away with charging shamefully high rates for their ‘service’. Ultimately, we lowered their kwh rate from 13.6¢ to 8.3¢, and at their 2,000 kwh per month usage that will result in about $100 savings. And it was easy!

Some background…In Texas, significant portions of the state are competitive zones were residential customers can select their electric provider. In reality, this retail company is merely a billing and marketing company, and if it is run well, with a little bit a of commodity purchasing/forecasting capability. The actual “poles-and-wires” company is a separate entity and still the same for everyone in the area, and all of these are provided power by the power generator companies that sell power to the grid.

So customers are supposed to select a provider in a rational way, right? Based on price, benefits, value, etc., right? The problem is that is not happening. The company that was the only choice before the deregulation came into being continues to maintain such name/brand recognition that its customers are harmed by its predatory pricing. Don’t get me wrong, I am pro-business, competitive advantage, exploit your strengths and minimize your weaknesses to make money, but this level of price differential is so great for literally no benefit that I feel confident in labeling it shameful. It is the SAME electricity. It is the same company that you call if power goes out (Oncor in our case). It is the same electric meter. It is even the same meter reader! The only things that change are the price that you pay and where you send your check. But many YEARS after deregulation has been put into place, something like 65% of all the residential customers still use the pre-deregulation (is that a word?) company. Personally, I have changed electric companies at least 5 times. Each time it was to get a little bit better rate than I was getting at the time. This resulted in a monthly savings of $10-$20 each time. No big deal, but I wasn’t going to turn it down either. This was my first experience with the sheer magnitude of the difference between the old incumbent company and the really competitive companies that are working to earn business in a competitive market.

To offer an analogy, it would be similar to purchasing a new Chevy Suburban. You go to dealer A that just opened a couple years ago (new kids on the block, but not brand new), you negotiate and get a good deal, let’s say for $41,500. Then you go to dealer B, and this dealer has been the only dealer in the area for the last 100 years. You sit down to negotiate a price on EXACTLY the same vehicle and they won’t go less than $68,000! Because no one knows that the Dealer A exists, or where it is located, or perhaps there are (untrue) rumors that if you buy from Dealer A and something breaks that the warranty would be voided. Which dealer would you by the car from? Really?

So, how did we do it? Easy! We got a copy of their last electric bill. It has all the information that you need. What rate you are paying now, service address, ESI ID (the ERCOT identifier number), on the bill that we had it even had the date that the existing contract expires. That is right! They were under a contract with TXU, it had a $100 cancellation fee, but when you are going to save $100 a month the choice is to pay TXU $100 too much for one more month (via the cancellation fee) or for 8 more months (through the end of the contract)? It is a no-brainer to take to cancellation fee and get out of the overpriced monthly screw-job. The funny thing is that when we called the TXU customer service line to inquire about the cancellation fee, we were initially told that is was $200. I was looking up the plan on www.powertochoose.org while the phone call was happening and saw that the plan that they were on showed a $100 cancellation fee. Hmmm. Honest mistake, perhaps, or could be a crafty tactic to dissuade those that are calling in asking about cancellation fees--you decide. When confronted with the web information, the call center rep did confirm that the fee was in fact only $100. Thank you, Goodbye.

Next, we went to Champion Energy’s website to sign up for a switch service. We could have chosen any of the companies at www.powertochoose.org, you simply enter your zip code and then you can sort and filter the offerings by the contract lengths (0-36 months typically), company, or renewable content. The site allows easy comparisons across offerings that the providers have and it is generally easy to navigate. We chose Champion because:

1. It was the company that I was using currently, and honestly, that personal recommendation coupled with the fact that I was showing them how to save so much per month was 90% of what set their mind at ease. Having someone there to walk them through the process and answer the questions, but that is why I am writing this account, because it is not hard or complex or scary--your lights don't go out, you just switch, save, and start sending the check to a new address when the bill comes.

2. It was the first company that I ever renewed my contract with when it expired (they managed to stay competitive a year later)

3. I have had ZERO billing issues with them. Remember above? You are selecting a billing and marketing company, after I have selected you as my provider I no longer need the marketing functions…

4. Champion had sent a “Refer-A-Friend” program link that offered the person (and me) a signup bonus of $25. This helps to offset the $100 cancellation fee sting.

At Champion’s website, we entered their zip code in the box in the Texas section and hit the continue button. On the next page, the correct Poles and Wires company was already selected by default. We typed in the referral code in the Referral ID section (the second section, the first section is for promo codes and Agent IDs) and again in the Confirm Referral ID box. This will allow them to get the $25 bill credit after 60 days! Then click the Get Rates button and the various plans that are available appear. I explained the reasons why I picked the 12 month plan, happy medium between locking in a good rate for a while and feeling locked into a long term plan if the company starts to perform poorly. They selected a 12-month plan and clicked the Enroll Now button.

This brings up the “What’s Your Address” page. Here you have a choice between entering your ESI ID number (if you have a past bill handy) or entering your actual address and performing a lookup. I like the ESI ID route better, as it is one less search that can get messed up and we had a copy of the bill. So we entered the ESI ID, clicked Find Address, and verify that it was the address that we wanted, continued on to the billing information and tada! They were set up.

The bad is that the $100 cancellation fee will have to be paid. But after that, it is all positive! Savings of about $100 each and every month! Money that they can use to better affect their lives and their family. And it does not cause any sacrifice for them. They do not have less features or less benefits, the power doesn't even flicker at the time of transfer (usually at the next meter read)…they will just more money to use (enjoy) somewhere else. Try it! I dare you! If you want to go with Champion as well and want a referral code for a $25 savings, leave me a comment and I will get you setup. If you want to try another company, go for it! If you have other questions, let me know, like I mentioned above, I have tried several of the companies. Good luck and most of all ENJOY the things that you are able to do with the money saved!!!

Less Judgment Should Be a Good Thing, Right?

2009-06-17T19:07:00.001-05:00

Several years ago, as I was asked, “What is your New Year’s Resolution going to be,” and I decided that particular moment would be a good one to be a smart ass. So this combined with a need to come up with something really quick lead me to: I am going to be less judgmental! Sounds good, right? Growing up we are told not to judge others and if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything and several other things that I have since forgotten. Well, the intention at the time was just to be able to answer the question, not really planning on following through. As on thought about it more the following days, I decided what the heck, I’ll give it a try.

Years and years of practice later, I think that I have done well or at least significantly improved (I mean, there was no real success metric defined upfront…). So you would think that life would be better, less stressful, after all, I am not worrying about all these things that lead to the judgment being made. Not concerning holding on to that judgment, letting it affect me as deeply. Trusting that all things will be taken care of in the Universe with the appropriate importance. WooHoo! Utopia achieved!

Except…Two issues have crept into the mix, my observation skills have suffered and no one else came along for the ride.

First is my observation skills. This deficiency is becoming very noticeable when you need to really analyze people’s behavior. Things that I like to do, like poker, that are so dependent on being able to observe hints that can lead to determining an opponents strength of their hand. Sure, luck plays a role, and timing, and strategy, being able to deliver a believable lie, even getting under a person’s skin, getting them upset and on ‘tilt’. But being able to observe subtle nuances in the other players at the table and how those correlate to the player’s strength of a hand, whether the person is telling the truth or bluffing, or even if someone is going to bully because they have a large chip stack. While I consider myself a decent poker player (not World Series good, but decent enough), if my observation skills were sharper (read, used more frequently) I could be so much better.

The observation skills are also becoming more important and profound in the ability to navigate political waters at the workplace. As times get leaner and more stress brews in the workplace, being able to read people (and make judgments) is becoming more of a necessity. I here I am sucking at it. I have let it go for so long that I feel that I am behind in this ability. For so long I have just not cared. Was I taking the resolution too far, or just being selfish and narcissistic? Is there an observation crash course (playing more poker perhaps)?

The truly shocking aspect (well, to me, in my unobservant routine) was that other people did not come along for the ride. Should have seen this one coming, my five year old daughter probably could have clued in on it as it should be that obvious. But after adopting a path towards less and less judgment on your mind, when you get feedback from others (or even just overhear conversations that you may not have been intended to hear), it just seems to shock you, even sting you more. Maybe because I was less prepared or less desensitized? Maybe there is a feeling of being attacked. Perhaps…but wow, now I know why I choose to try to be less judgmental. I have a really good friend of mine that will share these gems with me on occasion. It does not happen often, and I am not sure if that is because there are only a few or if he knows that a person should not be subject to many of these at once. I TRULY believe that he means well, intends to help and enlighten me, but some of the statements just plain floor me in their brutality. I guess it is a statement to the power and trust of our friendship, that these sensitive statements can be just brought out into the open and then we are on to the next topic, but they are deep and cutting enough that I will lose sleep over them for a couple days, and rarely let them completely go. I don't store them as an attack for later, they just pop into my head at some real weird times. It seriously sucks to be the object of judgment.

So the challenge going forward is to redevelop the observation skills while avoiding the judgment. Sounds easy, huh? You try it! It is not too difficult if you dispense with both, but I think that the challenge of maintaining the observation and withholding judgment will be more difficult than the original resolution that I embarked on years ago…but it could be more profitable too.

Relationship Paradox

2009-06-16T13:40:00.006-05:00

I had a good talk with my father a couple of weeks ago. One of those deep and meaningful conversations that kinda sneak up on you, where you look back and cherish it for the deepness and intimacy that occurred. I think that I may have shocked him when I said that I don’t really like people. Sounds harsh, doesn’t it? It is not really meant to come off as harsh or stand off-ish, perhaps it is just that I have difficulty relating to people. I grew up as an only child with a rather small extended family. I may not have learned to relate as well as others. Anyway, my father is the type of person that would talk to a tree. He enjoys the interaction and the stories and, well, I am not really sure what else, but I am confident that he likes people. One of the reasons that it shocked him is that he has seen me mess with someone’s head and I guess thought that I must love people since I mess with them so much. I thought that it was a bit of an odd conclusion, but maybe he is on to something. Kind of like when you are in grade school and you pick on the girl that you really secretly like because it at least gives you the opportunity to be around that person.

The ironic thing is that, recently, I have an increasing desire for relationships, the desire to connect with others. It even spans into the spiritual realm, as the church that I have begun attending emphasizes having a Relationship with God, and the pastor just recently had a sermon talking about how people were designed to be relationship based beings. The internal battle that I face is that I just don’t have the patience to deal with people. Maybe it is better said that I have zero tolerance for stupid, or distaste for imperfection (like I could aspire to my own high standards?). I have a strong perfectionistic streak that translates into a very black-and-white way of seeing the world. Perhaps it is the way I develop relationships, as I tend to have fewer friends but with much deeper connections. It takes a while to peel back the layers of me, but why? Am I afraid of being hurt, or rejected? On the surface it does not seem that these answers would hold true…but…maybe.

I remember, in school days, being the person that people could talk to about their problems or issues. I was kind of like a psychologist wannabe. I thought that it was generally because I listened and maybe, occasionally, I could offer advice or at least talk through the next steps of action with the person. (Playing chess on a human scale? I mean, I do love games and strategy.) While I could talk with people of many different cliques, I was never really attached to one. Perhaps people liked being able to talk to someone where they were not worried about the issue coming back to haunt them within their circle of friends, an outsider. I reserved judgment, and did not repeat the stories that I was told. At the time, I thought that this situation was cool, I had connections within most of the groups, but I was not committed to any one group. It is a recurring theme that defines me more and more as I examine it. I am also beginning to think that it is a copout, as I have a good working knowledge of so many things without having to commit to any particular specialization where I may not succeed or be the best, a defense mechanism as it were.

Other examples:

I am weird, but intentionally, and probably more for shock value. Am I trying to gauge a person’s tolerance, their accepting nature, playing with them to see their reaction, or am I trying to brace myself for a rejection of who I am? They didn’t really reject the real me, just the weirdo me…

I am smart, but most people that know me have heard me claim, “I am the stupidest smart-person that you will ever meet.” Is this truly, as I believe, that I can just take tests really well, that I can memorize and regurgitate information without having any real ability to think (the whole ‘there is no original thought’ concept belongs here, but that will have to be another post)? Or I am just trying to escape from the responsibility of being smart, trying not to disappoint when I fail at something intellectually, or if I am beaten intellectually?

I have taken personality tests that define your type across four dimensions of personality, the result was that I am an INTJ, one of the rarer types. But deeper examination of the results shows a very middle of the road set of scores across all four dimensions. Even my personality is non-committal! One or two answers differently and I have a completely different personality.

So now what? If these conclusions are correct, of my aversion to relationships being caused by a fear of failing or of being rejected, what do I do about it? Is failing or being rejected REALLY that scary? What is really the worst that would happen if I fail or am rejected? (I mean, it has happened before and did not kill me.) More importantly, how do I guide my children down a different path so that they are more open to relationships and liking others? How does a self-identified do-it-yourself’er get help with overcoming these fears and develop more relationships? When my daughter recently started asking questions about Jesus, we started going to church. I had no business teaching her about God and Jesus, but I knew where to go for help. Where does someone go for help in learning about relationships, trusting and accepting others, committing whole-heartedly, failing with grace and accepting that it will happen?

How is it that I can get this far into the question and not develop the answer? I must really be the stupidest smart-person that I will ever meet…

Here Comes a Large Wave

2009-06-15T18:41:00.004-05:00

Wow, look how long is has been! I originally planned to share some thoughts, ideas, or things learned on a weekly basis. Nuggets of wisdom that I could pass on in my feeble and self-sycophantic attempt to improve the lives of others. Of course, all of this transfer of knowledge while remaining rather anonymous. On a side note, that is what “Lost in the Cracks” was supposed to be, the title of my version of the great American novel that would impart some sort of profound revelation to the readers through a carefully crafted novel that has yet to get off the ground…generally because I do not know the lesson that I want to flesh-out. However, being profound is not all that easy. (Shocking, huh?) I did not want to force the content, as it would come off as fake. I did not want to publish some vapid rambling (i.e. “I ran around the block today…and it was hot!”). Who really cares? Besides, with my likely audience of 3 people, I feel that it is better to build up the anticipation from lack of posting than to drive you away with boredom.

But ultimately, I am finding that the spirit of what I want to post and contribute is the culmination of some very (for me) distressing times. The repeating pattern seems to be shaping up as such: Something starts to nag or grate on me, it may even be subconsciously, which makes it even more fun, as I become an emotional freak-show and do not even understand why. I start to lose sleep, adopting an insomniac pattern, where I even lie in bed and just cannot get to sleep. Sometimes I can use this insomnia beneficially, and get things done with these ‘extra hours’. Sometimes that helps and then some sort of bizarre normal course resumes and the crisis-point is averted. Other times, where these great lessons emerge, the insomnia just wears on me, to the point of inducing hyper-emotionality and a ‘different’ level of consciousness. This is beyond the standard laughing silliness or spring-loaded anger that is typical from lack of sleep. It is hard to describe, but it feels like a series of events and concerns that just pile up until I am completely overwhelmed and then finally, collectively, breaks the spirit. Not having been through it, I caution to make the comparison, but it seems like the breakdown process that would happen in military basic training. Maybe I am just too stubborn in my ways and resist changing a course that I am taking until it hurts so much in continuing that I have to change to a different way just to continue in a sane fashion…All of this compounded by having my wife and kids not understanding what is going on with me and not being able to explain it to them myself. Am I protecting them by not sharing during these difficult times, or am I denying them the opportunity to help me, to learn both the lesson that I am learning as well as and deeper and more intimate knowledge about me? The question almost seems silly when I write it down, but the frustration from not understanding what I am going through or being able to offer guidance as to what I need or what will help is very real and debilitating!

The cool part is that as I emerge I tend to have found some nugget of wisdom or change in my ways that in hindsight is better (and why did it take so long to figure out?). The frustrating side is that it is neither a fast process, nor one that I understand in the beginning (or middle) phases. Both issues, patience and uncertainty or ‘greyness’ (and just now, during this writing, adding relationships to the mix, never a real strong area of mine) are ones that I need to get better with so that I can start figuring this stuff out without the intense pain that I am putting myself through.

So, to quickly get to the point, the past couple of months have been building on my roller-coaster pattern. The intensity has stepped up a bit over the past couple weeks, and the recording of the crazy ride will be coming soon. As I have somewhat hinted at above, this time there seems to be a multiplicity of issues. A path of judgments and observations (and their interdependence), a path of spirituality (and those that know me as a recovering Catholic, I can feel your questioning eyes already!), and a path of relationships (perhaps with God and fellow man).

Usually I feel better when I start writing this stuff down, I even learn from it as I write it. While I truly believe that some cool things are coming, this time, I have a feeling that I have a lot of writing ahead of me…here comes a large wave…

The Future Is Yours, The Past Is Mine…

2008-09-08T23:55:00.006-05:00

So what do I know, someone less than 40, about the past? How could the life lessons experienced be worth writing? How could these lessons be meaningful without a longer life to analyze them? How come I am crying while writing this? How can I make suggestions without doing many them myself?

When you are really young, the future is before you, hopes and dreams and ‘what will be’s dominate. First suggestion, live in the moment. Do not ignore the future, make plans and goals and go get them, but be sure to look around and have fun on the way. Yes, this is another play on “Stop and smell the Roses”. Will it work, probably not. But the younger you are when you really realize it the better off you will be. Hard thing is, you almost have to let a portion of life whiz by to really understand the concept. You can be told, and try to listen, and follow the directions, but you don’t really get it that way. That is the frustrating part…even if you take the advice, you will not know what to do with the tool.

As you get older, you get to look back and say “What if…” Things that I did not do and recommend are my version of playing “What if…” Not regrets per se, but if I could go back and do it again, things that I would like to do. The rub here is that I do truly enjoy my life, my wife, my kids, and I almost feel guilty by saying that if I could do it again that I would do these things, as my life could be so remarkably different today (and would I really like it?). But still, if I could…

When you go to college, get involved! Go Greek, play a sport, be in the band, or student government, just get involved. Sure, you go to college to get an education. You are there to learn. But it is so much more, it is the transformation into an adult. The choices that you make in life stack and layer, and ultimately, are what define you as a person (make sure you like what you are becoming). College is the first time that you get to (or have to) make so many choices. It is this ‘beginning point’ that makes it so fascinating and easy to reminisce. So many people (and I would agree) will say that college days are the best days of life. Do not get me wrong, college is hard when you are college aged. Relationships form and break, papers have to be written, and they get long and hard the further you go into your degree, tests have to be taken, accountability is developed. College is also about the relationships that you build. College will be the first time to meet people so different from you, and people so similar but from different areas. Getting involved with at least one group, if not many, is an instant connection with a group of people. It will be a safety net, a support group, a study partner, access to friends to play with, to cry with, to live with. Beginning college is scary and exciting and full of energy, getting involved will help to ease these new highs and lows. Many of the connections that you make (or cultivate) in college will last for the rest of your life. They are strong connections because these are the people that were there when you grew into an adult. They had similar concerns and excitement and pain at the same time. They are the people that were there when you were beginning, and you for them. Cast the net wide, let it sink deep, and hold on for the ride of a lifetime.

As a sidenote to the beginning point reference: Maybe that is one of the reasons why we never can go back. If you went back to a beginning point with the knowledge and experience of how things can turn out later, it either becomes so easy that it becomes boring and trivial, hard to truly relate to those really going through it for the first time, or you are too good and over-dominate. It may also be one of the reasons that you have to go through college in your early twenties and not wait until your thirties, by the time you are in your thirties you have already gone through a different ‘beginning point’ in adulthood.

Last Saturday night I helped a friend out in his business by working one of his concessions carts at a mid-major college football game. Being around all that youth and potential just made me remember (and long for) those days. The people-watching was spectacular. The students, the families, the alumni…catching snippets conversations about victories, celebrations, friendships, and heartache and pain. Listening to Miranda Lambert on the drive home and trying to shut down what was going through my head, I tried to come up with a song title for the ramblings. ‘The Future Is Yours, The Past Is Mine’ summed it up well. You want to give a couple of these college students this set of secrets and tips and watch what happens. But ultimately, this is no longer my game to play in. I can watch from the sidelines and reminisce, but I cannot help. For even if the advice is sought after actively, the answers to questions would be forgotten, misused, or improperly used. This conclusion has been my lesson. Writing it down has helped to organize and analyze what has been bouncing in my head. The process has provided an end result vastly different than I expected, and that is exciting. What can you do with it…anything?

Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

If someone twenty years older were to send age-applicable life lessons to me, would it be cheating? Would I really be able to capitalize on the knowledge of experience? Or do I have to live my moments and learn from them on my own terms? Would be an interesting experiment, and of course I would want to try…